


Best Friends Aren’t Supposed to Feel This Way

by oceansgivepeace



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence - The Sign of Three, Multi, One-Sided Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes and Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-25
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-26 11:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30105348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceansgivepeace/pseuds/oceansgivepeace
Summary: Sherlock couldn’t sit through all of John’s wedding sober, it just hurt too much.
Relationships: Mary Morstan/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson
Kudos: 4





	Best Friends Aren’t Supposed to Feel This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Drug use, mention of a needle  
> If you’d like to skip this scene, I’ll be saying before it happens and when it ends.

Sherlock had been spending all his time planning the wedding so it would go perfectly. Maybe putting almost a little too much of his effort into it. He just wanted John to be happy and John seemed to be happiest when Mary was happy.

Everything was going to plan. The bridesmaids are wearing the lilac dresses, the decorations are all correct. The ceremony went smoothly as well. No one tripped while walking down the aisle, and everyone was present.

It was perfect, except for the dull ache in Sherlock’s chest reminding him of the feelings he tried so hard to bury.

John was getting married. He couldn’t feel this way anymore, especially towards his best friend.

Best friends weren’t supposed to want to kiss each other. He wasn’t supposed to want to pull John close to him and kiss him until they both were out of breath.

When he stood and watched the ceremony from behind John it was tourture. He felt jealous.

John only knew Mary for what? A year? 12 months and they were already getting _married_?

For the photos Sherlock was with Janine. She might like him a bit but who cares. All Sherlock could think about right now was John. John, John, John, John—John.

Sherlock Holmes was in love...with John Watson, who was in love. With Mary. Not Sherlock.

It would never be Sherlock. _Could_ _never_ be Sherlock.

John deserves so much more than him. He deserves Mary, not some crime solving junkie who’s shit at socializing. And most of all Sherlock knew _he_ didn’t deserve to be with John.

John is perfect. And Sherlock is a mess.  
Mary is put together, she has a stable job that doesn’t constantly put her in life or death situations. She’s able to provide John with the life he’s always dreamed of. Plus she was a woman, and John wasn’t gay (as he made sure to constantly announce).

Before the after party, Sherlock excused himself to the restroom. He was feeling overwhelmed with all of these emotions. This was new territory to Sherlock and frankly it scared him a bit.

**Trigger warning starts here. The next bolded words are when it’s over**

Sherlock doesn’t know why he brought heroin with him to the wedding.

He was heading out of his apartment and for some reason thought to bring the last bit of his stash. It was some cheap pre-prepared stuff he bought years and years ago. There was a reason he never used it, but it was all he had right now.

Once he got to the restroom he locked the door. He threw his blazer on the counter and rolled up his sleeves.

Sherlock needed to make his thoughts shut up. He couldn’t be thinking about _Mary’s_ _husband_ the way he was thinking of him right now—for fucks sake, it was their wedding day!

He didn’t hesitate. Just inserted the needle into the crook of his arm and injected it.

Sherlock leaned his head back, hand still holding the needle, and allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of peace wash over his head.

After maybe two minutes Sherlock rolled down his sleeves and put his blazer back on. He flushed the syringe down the toilet before looking in the mirror.

His pupils were extremely dilated but he didn’t worry much because it was going to be dark at the after party.

**Scene over. All you need to know is Sherlock got high, and destroyed the evidence.**

Sherlock walked back to the room and saw that everyone had already started dancing, John had his hands on Mary’s waist and they were swaying to the music.

He sat down at a random table and looked around the room. It seemed that he was the only one who wasn’t happy.

When the song ended John and Mary walked over to him.

”Are you alright? You don’t look too good.” John gestures to his face. “A bit pale too.”

”I’m fine, just a slight headache. No big deal. I think it’s that champagne.” Sherlock’s head was actually beginning to hurt a bit.

”You too? Glad I’m not the only one who thought it was off,” Mary says.

”If you can’t do the solo piece that’s fine, I know you made a recording.”

”I don’t want to be rude, but I actually might go to my hotel. It feels like the room is spinning,” Sherlock says, slurring his words a bit.

”Go ahead. Take some paracetamol when you get there too,” John ‘prescribes’.

Sherlock nods before standing up. He ends up having to put his hand on John’s shoulder to keep himself from falling. ”I'll be off then. Congratulations and have fun at the honeymoon.”

”Thank you, hope you feel better soon,” Mary responds.

Sherlock leaves the couple and grabs his belstaff off the coat rack. He walks outside onto the gravel pathway heading towards the street so he can hail a cab.

But about halfway to the road Sherlock stops and grabs his head. It feels like there’s a sledgehammer hitting his skull. And despite his eyes being closed everything around him spins and he collapses.

Laying on the floor the gravel rough against his scalp, it starts feeling like there is fire flowing through his veins. The pain is unbearable and he looses conscience.

______

John stood with Mary watching Sherlock walk away. He just wanted to make sure he got to a cab safely.

”He’ll be fine. It’s just a headache,” Mary reassures.

”Yeah but it’s also Sherlock.” 

Mary chuckles, “Good point.”

John sees Sherlock stop and grab his head. He goes to step forward but Mary stops him.

”He said the room was spinning earlier he’s probably just trying to regain balance. Give him a few.”

John nods and stays by Mary, not taking his eyes off of Sherlock.

He watches Sherlock stand there for a bit before just falling. At that point Mary let’s go of him and he runs outside.

A few heads turn, Greg looking especially worried.

The gravel crunches under John’s feet as he runs towards an unmoving Sherlock. He falls on his knees right beside Sherlock and listens for breathing. It’s barely there.

Greg rushes out and stops beside John.

”What do you need me to do?” He says, a bit out of breath.

”Call an ambulance!” John puts his ear near Sherlock’s face so he can more easily monitor his breathing.

By now it seems the after party has quieted and everyone is looking out of the window watching them.

”My friend just collapsed at, um, St. Mary’s Church. That’s in Somerset, Sutton Mallet?” Greg tells the operator. “Okay, 5 minutes. Thank you.”

John was still listening to Sherlock’s breathing, which was slowing.

”John, what even happened?”

”He said he had a headache from the champagne. He said he was going to his hotel and then he just collapsed.”

Greg crouches down beside John and lifts up Sherlock’s right eyelid. “John. I think he’s high.”

”What?!” John moves his ear away from Sherlock’s face so he can look at his eyes instead. “Fuck, you’re right...”

”Do you think that maybe this is an overdose then?”

”Possibly.”

The two start hearing the sound of sirens in the distance. It’s getting closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can,t dialogue... how. i no. h,umans confusng


End file.
